Saturday night, our language trainer, Abdul, invited the whole team over for a traditional Arab meal. He told us this was a test for all the things we’ve learned so far – He wanted to see what we remembered. Needless to say, we were all a bit nervous.
Abdul lives with my two teammates, Will & Jason, who were co-hosting with him. The three of them were responsible for inviting us personally before the meal, and in such a way that we couldn’t turn down. Invitations are a very important thing in Arab culture, and the way you do them says a lot about whether or not you actually want the invitee to come, or how much you really value them. Because event start times are not set by the clock (i.e. “7 pm”), but by the Muslim daily prayers, we were told to arrive after the last prayer (which starts at 5:58pm). Around 7, I went over to their apartment with Jack & Lucy who brought me as their friend because as a single woman, I wouldn’t normally be invited to a single man’s home independently. Once the door opened, we were greeted, given drinks (they don’t offer, they just give them to you), and seated. The men and women sit in separate rooms throughout the entire night, not just the meal. After Arabic coffee came dates, then appetizers (which were more like desserts, actually), then tea. The host will continually offer you more to drink if your cup is empty, so if you don’t want more coffee, you leave a tad in the bottom, shake your cup, and say shukran (thank you). A small bowl of water is also on the table to rinse your fingers.
THREE HOURS after we sat down (10pm), we were told the food was ready and we could all go wash our hands. Cleanliness is very important to Muslims, so it is necessary to wash your hands in front of the other guests so they know your hands are clean. Our host brought each group’s food on a big round platter and put it on the floor (that’s right, the floor) for everyone to gather around. The plate is about 30” in diameter and filled with kabsa (rice, lamb, vegetables, spices, broth, etc…) which everyone eats with their hands. There is a certain position to sit in so everyone can sit as close to the plate as possible, but that still allows them to scoop the food from only their own area. Because I was the youngest person in the women’s group, I started the meal by putting the lamb/vegetables and broth over the rice in the middle. While eating or drinking you can only use your right hand, the left hand is unclean (from being used in the bathroom); you bring shame upon yourself if you use it. This means you cannot touch food with is, reach for things with it, or drink with it. Good thing I’m not left-handed like my dad. Once the eldest person is done eating, he/she will say Alhamdulilah (praise be to God), and then everyone stands up signaling the end of the meal. At that point, people proceed to wash their hands.
After dinner and its cleanup, tea and dessert were served. Abdul brought out a burning wood thing (which he says can get very expensive) in what looked like a silver chalice and passed it around the room for people to smell and to signal the formal festivities are over. We were told we could stay as long as we like, but since it was 11:30 by this point, we all headed home. Those who did say, however, went outside to smoke hookah (just Abdul and his housemates).
**not all of this stuff is completely traditional for all Arab customs, some of it is Abdul’s tribal customs.
